A Leader, or Something Else?

My dad once shared some great advice to me when it came to companies and the interview process.

He said,

"You'll always get a vibe check when you meet them. Something that lets you know if the leadership and the atmosphere are the right fit for you as an individual."

Later, in a course about future's thinking, I recognized that his advice and the premise was similar to the term of "signals."

Signals, the observable, concrete pieces of evidence from the present that hint at potential changes, trends, or disruptions in the future. They are often subtle, unexpected, or seemingly insignificant at first, but can grow to have significant implications.

Now, these signals can show up in fleeting moments: a glance, a hesitation, a mismatch between what's said and what's shown. Those areas where something clicks, and you feel energy, clarity, alignment. Then in other areas, there's that disconnect that reflects into a gut feeling. That something isn't quite right.

I’ve come to trust those intuitions as they've often been surprisingly accurate in predicting the kind of manager or organization you end up working for. The work and culture that would shape my day-to-day.

It's just about whether or not you can do the the job, but whether you should or if you want to.

Strategic Fit, or Personality Sync

Understanding all of this has helped me think more critically about strategic fit, shared values, growth potential, and what kind of leadership style I’m stepping into. It’s also helped me reflect on the managers I’ve worked with in the past, the ones I now call the "Fascinating Four." Individuals who have shaped my work experience the most. Some inspired growth. Others revealed the damage that poor leadership can cause. Each one has helped me become more intentional when looking looking for the next career challenge and the environment I choose and the kind of leadership I seek, and hope to embody.

"No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it." -Andrew Carnegie

Lessons from The "Fascinating Four"

I can describe my past managers in distinct categories. I call most of them bosses, not leaders, because there’s a difference. A leader inspires, supports, and challenges you to grow. A boss often manages from a place of ego, fear, or control.

Each of these people shaped how I understand leadership: what it is, what it isn’t, and what kind I hope to become.

• The Charismatic Salesman: Magnetic and sharp, he initially seemed like someone to learn from. However, his self-serving actions, taking credit, rarely listening, and bending rules that created a distant team and a high-pressure environment. I learned the importance of authentic listening and team empowerment over individual gain.

  
  

• The Abuser: This manager created a truly toxic and fear-driven environment. His controlling and violent behavior, which the company overlooked due to his reputation, taught me about the profound negative impact of unethical leadership and the critical need for a safe and respectful workplace. Only once in my lifetime has someone kicked a chair at my head… That atmosphere is not worth the paycheck or the stress.

  
  

• The Buddy: Initially approachable, he fostered a performative closeness that ultimately served his own ambition. He hoarded the spotlight and stifled others' ideas. This experience highlighted the difference between genuine support and manipulative control, emphasizing the value of true collaboration where everyone's contributions are celebrated.

  
  

• The Insecure Supporter: Appearing calm, he avoided senior staff and surrounded himself with juniors, showing passive resistance to new ideas and even gaslighting. This revealed how a leader's insecurity can create a culture of comfort over growth, where challenging the status quo is discouraged. The internal methods that have been done before, stick to them. Ignore the new possibilities. It underscored the importance of openness to feedback and fostering a culture of psychological safety.

  
  

• The Collaborator: This individual was a true leader. They built teams around diverse thinking, welcomed challenges, and sought to understand rather than undermine. They didn't hoard credit but pushed people to do their best work, together, fostering individual and collective growth. They remain a source of support, demonstrating what generous, curious, and empowering leadership truly looks like.

Each of these experiences taught me something invaluable. Some helped me set boundaries and identify behaviors to avoid, reinforcing the kind of leadership I don't want to be a part of. The "Collaborator" reminded me of the kind of leadership worth striving for: generous, curious, empowering. That’s the kind of leadership I want to work with. The kind we all deserve to work with. And the kind I aim to be, both in the roles I take on and in how I contribute to any team.